Some tips from carers on looking after people with Borderline Personality Disorder. Do you have any to add?
CARER TIPS FOR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
1. Take the behavior less personally since it is not about you, but rather about the intense and confusing emotions of the person with BPD
2. Become aware of certain triggers, such as perceived abandonment or criticism, and try to be a bit more sensitive around these issues
3. Don't respond to random blaming attacks and manipulation by denying, counterattacking, or defending yourself. Instead, communicate your position clearly, stay focused on one thing at a time, listen carefully, validate some of his/her feelings, and diffuse by possibly agreeing with part of the statement or by using gentle humor
4. Try to walk a very fine line between providing support and reassurance on the one hand, and setting personal limits and boundaries on the other hand. Remember that setting limits is not selfish, but necessary, both for your own sanity and to act as a good role model for the person with BPD, who often lacks internal stability.
5. Be consistent and stand up for yourself in a gentle and respectful way. If you let unacceptable behavior go unnoticed, you may actually reinforce it. Ideally, you discuss your limits beforehand, when things are on an even keel.
6. Seek support and positive connections elsewhere. You may need a lot of love and validation yourself, especially when you are blamed frequently, so have a reality check with others once in a while.
7. Take care of yourself and do things just for you, away from the person with BPD. It is important to alleviate stress and recharge your batteries on a regular basis