Negotiating Care and Support Survey
Mental Health Carer’s ARAFMI NSW Inc has received feedback from carers that sometimes they find it difficult to know how to negotiate with their loved ones regarding care and other issues involved with living and daily functioning.
The difficulties encountered include the inability of their loved one to explain clearly their needs, their inability to distinguish between wants and needs, and the pressure and emotional manipulation often exerted by the “consumer” to conform to their demands, especially in times of heightened stress.
Whilst it is perfectly natural and common for people to have different ideas about what others need, it is always an area fraught with emotion, especially when living with mental illness. Carers often feel responsible for the “right” advice to protect their loved ones, and consequently try to advise and support from this perspective. They have often lived the experience and consequences of poor decisions, made due to the mental illness.
What makes this all the more complicated is the fact that people living with mental illness can be subjected to involuntary treatment, when there is a risk of danger to themselves or others. The overwhelming feeling that their power is being taken from them, creates great anxiety for both the sufferer and the carer – who often becomes the scapegoat for their distress. At these times, the carers observations and experience appear to be dismissed or minimized by medical staff, as the focus becomes the consumer.
Any relationship that requires decisions where emotional intensity is always present is extremely difficult to negotiate. When both parties are operating from an emotional tug, and a very real fear of danger, conflict is inevitable. How do carers look after themselves and not be drawn into the manipulative behavior? How can carers reduce their own anxiety about the outcomes of decisions? How can they assess when the consumer is able to make a reasonable decision and when they are incapable of making a “thinking” decision?
Issues relating to the impact of mental illness on communication and judgment can make it very difficult to separate expressions of genuine needs from more manipulative behaviour. Knowing how and when to ‘draw a line’ can be very difficult for carers.
As a family member, friend or carer of a person living with mental illness, has this kind of issue affected you in the past?
Do you find it difficult to negotiate decisions and behaviour with your loved one when they are or are becoming unwell?
Take our Survey and help us identify how serious this issue is for carers today. Click on the link to open the survey:
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